The Betoota Advocate. One of Australia’s best satirical commentators. Reading their pages regularly results in a belly laugh, followed by a quiet moment of reflection because their amazing satire hits pretty close to home when it comes to bucks parties!
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Betoota Advocate on bucks party planning
“An oversized bucks party featuring sixteen individuals who had rallied together to send off their soon-to-be married friend managed to organise a horrific blinder but failed to source a single piece of food. Now the group of seasonal degenerates are starting the day hungover and hungry with only themselves to blame. “
Hands up those who have been to a bucks party that forgot to arrange one of the fundamental basics… like food? This Betoota Advocate Bucks Party story cheekily highlights how this bucks party of debauchery in Betoota’s wine region splashed out for strippers and coke, lied to Airbnb around that no-party rule, and made sure the fridge was stocked full of beer, beer and more beer.
They all woke up hungover and hungry the next day and realised there was not an oily bacon-and-egg burger with BBQ sauce in sight. Not a penny had been spent at Coles or Woolies on the way through. The groom grumbled – obviously the lack of food took the shine off the best time of his life, before the best day of his life.
But fortunately, even in comedy drink driving remains a serious matter. None of the bucks party crew could drive to grab some take-away because they’d all blow over .05.
Two valuable Betoota Advocate bucks party lessons here:
- Make sure you arrange the food
- Don’t drink and drive
Betoota Advocate on bucks party budgeting
“… who would be taking the bullet and giving their credit card to the staff at the hotel reception upon check-in. Heading up to Cairns for Matt Sampson’s bucks weekend, the group of 6 were booked into a large hotel room in the backpackers paradise.”
The budget, that old chestnut. No doubt bucks parties these days can burn a small (or somewhat large) hole in your pocket when your stumping up for your own cut of the festivities. But having to cover the risk of the whole bucks party crew is a whole other level – and the Betoota Advocate is right to bring this one to your attention.
Banter is a must, particularly if you’re taking a road trip – and as the Betoota points out, long hours in an enclosed space will no doubt lead to phallic commentary. Make sure you plan an awesome playlist so it’s not dick-jokes the whole time.
Your valuable Betoota Advocate bucks party lesson:
- If you’re the best man, have a plan for the room security credit card otherwise you’ll end up with yours carrying he weight for the whole crew.
Betoota Advocate on the morning after the bucks party
“A group of hungover blokes have been spotted battling it pretty hard at the hard rock cafe today, going into mouth breathing mode as they struggled to look even remotely socially acceptable.“
This is another one about food – because men need food – but in the context that you’re very like to feel a bit ‘gentle’ on the morning after while you’re waiting for that all important first feed of the day.
Take note that this is a very likely situation that the buck and his crew will experience the next morning. Mouth breathing and all. Have a plan for the morning after, especially if you’re planning a big night for the bucks party.
It’s OK if everyone’s sitting silently and staring off into space with such determination so they keep the bubbling vat of toxic fluids at bay while the brekky burger sizzles on the hot plate.
A final lesson on bucks parties from the Betoota Advocate:
- Make sure the morning after a big night out has a slow and gentle plan so the buck and his crew can ease on into the new day.
Images: all screenshots from the Betoota Advocate
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