Johnny Depp has endured some sh!tty media coverage in recent times – pardon the pun. The poor bugger. Having the trials and tribulations of married life discussed in the court room and played out in the media can’t be fun. But let’s push to the side what’s going on in his life right now and take a moment to look back at Johnny Depp’s bachelor party invite.

Johnny is known for his intuitive and playful style. He does not do many things as simply expected, and in an interview with the Independent, he admitted that when he is working on something heavier, he tends to lean toward humour. It’s the way he makes things his own and brings out the quintessential Depp style that

He makes things his own, and has this whimsical way of bringing everyone along on his journey.

And this journey was Johnny Depp’s bachelor party. His words conjure up images of the event’s shenanigans – ribald event, gallery of rogues, trust in the magic, and horse filled beach – Johnny does a great job of painting a picture that no red blooded male could say no to attending. The simple act of reading had me chuckling-child-like and pausing as the reel played forward in my mind… well, my wishful mind that I would have gotten a guernsey to attend!

And that, my friend, should be where you aim for when you’re planning the bucks party and penning the invitation… make it impossible for the crew to say no – true or tale- because the buck needs all his boys there!

Read on for Johnny Depp’s bachelor party invite to see how Johnny’s put forward a proposition that his mates simply could not say no to!

Johnny Depp’s bachelor party invitation, penned by his own hand

Greetings, fellow scoundrels.

Your old mate Johnny here. Doubtless by now you’ve all read in the tabloids of my upcoming nuptials to Amber Heard — a great young chick who truly gets my music.

As you can tell by my casual use of the word “chick,” Johnny Depp is first and foremost a “guy’s guy.” That’s why I hereby request the pleasure of your company at a truly ribald event: my bachelor party. I can think of no better gallery of rogues with whom to commemorate my last few days of singlehood than those CC’d on this email. It’ll be one last chance to sow my wild oats before I’m forever shackled to my beautiful 28-year-old wife on our private island off the coast of France.

Here’s the itinerary:

11:45am – A boat will pick you up at LAX — don’t question this, trust in the magic.

12:15pm – A grizzled sea captain with a crooked gait will emerge from the hull and ask you three riddles. This will be me.

12:20pm – Shock and applause as the salty codger (me) removes his wig and says “Let’s boogie!”

12:25pm – Jaunty Men’s Dance

1:00pm – Mead shots!

1:15pm – Al Pacino and I joke around about who’s more nuts, me or him

2:30pm – We decide that we’re both nuts, certifiable even

3:00pm – Ship runs aground on horse-filled beach

3:15pm to 4:00pm – Jumping from horse to horse while fighting off a line of foes

4:00pm to 6:00pm – Leather bracelet seminar feat. Anthony Keidis and Orlando Bloom

6:15pm – Rum journaling

6:20pm – We all act totally and utterly irreverent for five straight minutes

6:25pm – Visit rolled-cigarette room at local cigar bar

6:30pm – Make haste to nearby pub for grogs and meads

8:00pm – Get back on boat, which is now an antique hot air balloon (no questions, simply embrace the whimsy)

8:45pm – Arrive at the Viper Room for impromptu jam session featuring Keith Richards, Eddie Vedder, Keanu Reeves, and don’t even think about asking me to get up there, you guys…

8:50pm – No, you couldn’t pay me to get up there and play guitar right now so don’t even try…

8:52 pm – FINE, you forced my hand, you knaves!

9:00pm to 12:00am – Me and the boys delve into some truly mind-bending jams. Several members of Oasis join us onstage.

12:15am – Group selfie (which I won’t look at because I never look at my own work)

And after that, we’re all gonna go to a strip club
____

Sorry, clicked send too fast — we’re all gonna go to a strip club dumpster to pick me out some new scarves.

Hope to see you there!

– johnny

Author: Bucks Bachelor Stag